The beginning of the end

The sound of rain is gently tapping at my window, awakening me from a rare moment of deep slumber and for a sleepy second I forget where I am.   This cannot be my beloved Bahrain where rain is an rare visitor. As sleep escapes, slowly draining away form my mind and I realize I am back in Austin.

I arrived in Austin, Texas just last week for a medical crusade, both body and mind. Since 2009, my body has played host to many ailments that range from symptoms such as bladder infections and frequent stomach aches. This year, my tolerance for these pestilent pestering plagues has reached an apex of frustration and decided enough was enough.

Before I had initially moved back to Bahrain in 2014 after completing grad school, I had seen a couple of doctors in the States who attempted to treat my symptoms like any other conventional medical practitioner– by throwing medication at the problem and not really looking for the root of the problem.  Nothing seemed to work and I did what any adult would have done, I ignored the problems.

At first I could handle the symptoms and would simply self medicate, mimicing the dosage and prescriptions the doctors in the States had prescribed, after all, medication is accessible in Bahrain and you do not need a prescription like you do in the United States. However after staring my job in the fall of 2014 my ailments began to become even more aggravated.  With the added load of stress, my will to swallow my pain and shoulder the burden of sickness began to weigh down heavy on my mental and physical well being.

I sought help from doctors in both Bahrain and Jeddah who unfortunately could not help me either and actually made the situation worse by pumping my body full of antibiotics, sometimes two types at a time.  Everyday I felt more fatigued and aggravated and felt as if half of me had drained away. My body had been hijacked by unseen hosts and after a year of feeling like half a person I relented and made the decision to venture back the United States to fight the holy war for myself both body and mind. For this six year endeavor has been one of utter failures and disappointments and I fear that if I continue down the path of conventional medicine and persist in poisoning my body with antibiotics, antifungals, then I will soon be beyond repair.

Making the move back to Austin was not easy.  I battled with myself and at times, believed I did not deserve this chance to heal. What would I do about my job? Will this hold on life have a negative impact on my career and personal life down the road? I was consumed by a tidal wave of fears and questions that kept me frozen in place.  However with the loving support of friends and family, both in Bahrain and Austin, my winter of panic began to thaw and I made the journey back to Texas.

And so, this is my little tale of healing, one which will include natural and conventional medicine. You will bear witness to my internal wrangling as I attempt to win myself back from sickness and punish the parasites that have taken over my livelihood.

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